


Wow, thanks

by lennyangel



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, F/F, New forms, hand holding, hugging it out in a bathroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 12:12:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lennyangel/pseuds/lennyangel
Summary: Lapis and Peridot reform while the others are away, and have a talk in the bathroom.





	Wow, thanks

**Author's Note:**

> This will be relevant for like, a week probably, then canon will destroy it but in the mean time, WE HOLD HANDS

When Lapis reformed, she was alone. The sun had just dipped behind the horizon, leaving a sleepy purple and blue light over the world. She sat for some time, on Steven’s bed, looking out the window. She heard voices in the other room. Peridot’s, with its familiar croakiness, and another voice, deeper and unfamiliar. She crept slowly towards the room where the voices came from. Pushing the door open, she saw Peridot with her back to her, talking to the large gem Lapis didn’t recognise. Well, she was A bismuth. She just didn’t recognise THIS bismuth. Something in Lapis’ chest shivered, like the Moon Base orb glitching. She had seen Peridot leap into this gems arms. Now they conversed in hushed voices. Before she could sidle away, the Bismuth’s eyes widened and her face split into a warm grin.    
“Hey, you’re back with us! Lapis Lazuli, right?” she said.    
“Just Lapis.” she found herself mumbling. Peridot turned around. Her eyes with big with surprise, and Lapis felt saddened that she didn’t rush towards her like she had before. There was silence as they looked at each other and Bismuth looked awkwardly between the two of them.    
“I’ll, er, leave you two alone.” and then she scooched behind Lapis and shut the door behind her. Now they were alone, and Lapis could look properly at Peridot. She had reformed with quite drastic changes. Shorts, with stars on each leg, and a sort sleeves on her chest which had a star proudly emblazoned on the front. She now had gumboot like shoes. Lapis had changed very little, converting her diamond to a star and having her top and skirt attach at the front.   
The colours seemed to fade around her. All the feelings she’d been soaking in on the moon, all her regrets and worries and loneliness and guilt and the all-encompassing terror rushed back over her. She was drowning, unable to speak, to hear, to move. It crushed her. All she wanted was to reach out, to tell Peridot how much she’d missed her. How sorry she was.    
Peridot took in a deep breath.    
“Lapis. Welcome back. Please, take a seat.”   
Lapis looked around. The only thing that looked like a seat was what she recognised as a “toilet”. Peridot had told her what that was used for. She stayed standing. The pressure remained as Peridot and her looked at each other in silence for some time. She’d always appreciated the way Peridot and her could not talk for a long time. This wasn’t the same. This was uncomfortable. This was the breath in before a sneeze. But the sneeze wouldn’t come. Instead, they were stuck, inhaling, gasping, in silence. It hummed and drummed in her ears, like being underwater. She hated it. She wanted to scream. To run. To fly away.    
Then Peridot moved. She walked forward and her little hand found its way into her own. Peridot’s green thumb worried against Lapis’ fingers.   
“I’m glad you’re back.” Peridot said in a quiet voice. Colour returned to her world and the drumming silence receded. She looked down at their hands. She laughed. How easy Peridot made it seem. How simple it all turned out to be. Suddenly her laughter crumpled and she flung her free arm around Peridot, falling to her knees.    
“I’m so sorry I left.”

“I’m so sorry I left.”    
Lapis’ voice cracked, like it always did when she was feeling strongly. Peridot was frozen. They’d sat close together, fallen asleep on each other’s shoulder, but never had they hugged. It’s why she had paused when Lapis returned. She felt a pang of jealousy when Lapis had so easily hugged Steven. But now here she was, hugging Peridot, squeezing her so tight she felt she might poof again. She was squeezing her hand too. Peridot had surprised herself, taking Lapis’ hand. She’d always liked Lapis’ hands. They seemed bigger and smaller than hers at the same time. Lapis’ hands were slimmer, but her fingers were longer. It made Peridot feel big holding Lapis’ hand, as if she could protect her. What a cloddy thing to think.    
“It’s okay. I understand why you left.”   
Lapis pulled away, her face twisted in sadness.   
“But I took the barn, our home and your morps!”    
Peridot wished she could act big. Cheer Lapis up. Make her realise it didn’t matter. That all she wanted was Lapis back.    
“But! If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to SMASH Blue Diamond with it! That was really awesome.”

Peridot’s eyes glittered up at her. And Lapis laughed again. A proper one, that made her mouth stretch and stomach bend.    
“Yeah. You were pretty cool too, with your cans.” She was rewarded with Peridot puffing out her chest in pride.   
“I know! Bismuth launch me earlier, Right Into Blue’s Face! HA!” Lapis found herself still smiling. Peridot was just the same, the confident, sure of herself gem that had made her feel more at home on Earth. She was like an island, or anchor. No matter how much the darkness buffeted her, she could stay more or less in the same place with Peridot. She hadn’t quite realised until she’d been alone again. When the darkness had been constantly washing over her. She’d been able to drag herself out of it, with so much effort. Here though, there was Peridot to hold on to. She could fight it easier, let the waves pass over her. They would be back. But in the meantime, there was Peridot, and Steven, and Pumpkin, and even the Crystal Gems.    
“We can always make more morps.”

It had been an after thought. A flippant remark. She hadn't thought about it. But now Lapis was hugging her again, and laughing, and maybe crying, and Peridot could only squeeze the little hand she still held in hers. Lapis’ voice croaked out from within Peridot’s triangle hair.   
“Steven was the first being to care about me in 5000 years. But, Peridot, I think you might be my Pierre.” She felt Lapis freeze, as if she feared the words she’d just spoken. Peridot found her free arm coming around, to rest under Lapis’ gem. She could feel the warm, steady pulse of light from it. She didn’t have the words to respond. All thoughts had left her brain, replaced by an overwhelming joy she hadn’t thought possible. She said the only thing that seemed to encapsulate her reciprocity, the intensity of this feeling that burned inside her.    
“Wow, thanks.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy what I write, you could find more of me on my blog [earendil-elenion](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/earendil-elenion) or my writing blog [blankpagewriting](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/blankpagewriting)


End file.
